I know its early, I know it's going to take time, But the realization that my wife, whom I love, walked out on me four days ago is setting in. I was shell shocked on day one, Hell bent upon fixing myself on Days 2 and 3, Today is day 4 and I woke up just totally flat.
I have had no contact with her since Monday morning, no affair that I am aware of (good knowledge of her whereabouts the last few months), She walked in and said ILYBIANILWY (Love you but not in love with you) and wants a divorce. I have all ready posted this story and will be working the 180 to the max when she does reach out to me (and I expect she will).
It is just this 49 year old (no kids) feeling of hopelessness this morning that overwhelmed me. Good nights sleep, but woke up with a lump in my throat.
While I know this is normal, I just hate it. I am going to keep following my routine, get dressed, go to work, keep the house clean, show consistency in everything I do and keep reading the "180" rules.
First weekend is coming up and I am dreading it. I will keep my head up, stay consistent and do what I have to do to survive, but its these first steps that are horrible...
