Laying down my heart and feeling the power

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for your advice about communicating with my H when he's in Russia with the Tramp, Bright, Wonka and Complicated.

Wonka wrote "If and when he ever does go to Russia, don't initiate any contacts with H. If he does let you know he's arrived in Russia, you can say "H, thanks for letting me know you've arrived safely. Take care. Linda" Then let him go. He needs to experience the hard stuff firsthand for himself since he's raring to go and get away. You will not be there to swoop down and 'rescue' him from the mess of his OWN making while in Russia. Then he'll have no one to blame but himself. I think the trip will truly open H's eyes in ways that no one can. And it'll be good in an odd way." 

I wasn't considering the possibility of him encountering a mess at all Wonka, but rather that RT will orchestrate a wonderful, exciting, sensual visit. That's what I would do if my lover was coming for an extended visit. Especially if I was trying to pry him out of the comfort of his marriage and into divorce court. 

I plan to have a session with Chuck just before he goes, and LOTS with my IC too, but agree that no contact is the way to go with this. I expect he'll text to let me know he arrived safely at least, although who knows if he will even remember he has a wife once he arrives in fantasy land. Thanks for the script to respond, Wonka, I'll add it to my file! 

But what about the opposite....should I initiate contact to let him know I arrived in London safely? To rub it in  

I won't be happy he's there, but will try to block out mental pictures of him and RT in their little love nest, and enjoy the peace and solitude. No tension, none of that walking-on-eggshell  feeling. I think! -- and hope. I guess I won't know until the time comes. 

He said he was getting nervous that his visa would be denied if he just applied in the normal way (submit his visa application with the fake hotel invitation) so he decided to use a service the fraudulant hotel invitation company offers, to submit the application on his behalf. It is supposed to take up to 12 weeks to receive the visa, and his plane takes off in 6 weeks. With or without him!