Tallula is right. It is difficult but you must try your best to listen to people on this.forum who are trying to help you.
It is very difficult, and Tallula,, Bond and others would tell you I struggled with listening to them point out my flaws. Its painful. You feel misunderstood. But you must realize it is all for your own good, so you can change....
As Tallula said, being able to say 'thank you for your input' and then stop there, without adding a dig or two at the person trying to help, takes some practice when you are not used to it. But it is an essential skill in marriage, and you can practice it here....its called HUMILITY.
one comment from me, and this is just my opinion. I think you are being very hard on yourself.
I mean, you wish your wife would some day forgive you for 'what you did to her'.
In my opinion this is a common trap the LBS falls into. Believing that it is soley your fault for the breakdown of your marriage is not only not true, but a dangerous position to take. It takes two to make a successful marriage and as your pain and anger over what has happened begins to subside, you will begin to see more clearly how it was not all your fault.
To me, it seems that this is a crucial milestone or hurdle for the LBS. there is no moving forward whether it be in your current marriage or a new one without first overcoming this nagging feeling that you caused this,mess all on your own.
You cannot expect to successfully move forward without one critical thing....FORGIVING YOURSELF!
You must forgive yourself for what you feel you have done to land yourself in this position. Only then can you begin to move forward and to fix your flaws so that you can become the man you were meant to be, the,man you are capable of being, and the man that only a fool would leave...
Start the process...let go if the past... forgive yourself.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
