littleGTO, love your clarity. I fully understand your position.

Quote:
I starting DBing before I even knew about OW or that my M was in deep trouble.

I did not save my M BUT I DID SAVE MYSELF!

I wrote something similar on my thread recently: DBing often doesn't rescue the marriage - but it saves oneself, and that already is a major success.

Continue on your path - you have chosen the right direction.