One giant leap forward!

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T,

I don't know how I missed this entire thread but I just found it tonight...

There is so much to say but most of it has already been said since I am days late to the party..

the biggest thing I notice is that you are still worried about upsetting your wife and ruining your chances. I understand why, however, you really have to detach for your own sake as well as for any possibility of a HEALTHY reconciliation.

I don't see success in you working directly with her on an agreement because you want to do the right thing and she wants to do what she thinks is right for her (not you, the kids, the m). Trust me, I did this with my ex and my daughter paid the price.

I see you beginning to detach but I see all of your concerns coming from a place of worrying about hurting your chances. Sandi is right, she is trying to control you and you, in your efforts to do the right thing, will allow that.

She will never R until she sees you walking away for good. It has been pointed out to me that reconciling with our S, who has not done any DBing and hasn't grown like we are, is hard it appears even harder in your case because your W seems very immature.

She is playing you. I hate to say it because you seem like a great guy and I know you were very optimistic not so long ago. I don't believe she made it all up with that intention, she just needs to do some work. Now that she sees you walking away again, she is trying more tactics to get you back.

Be strong.