How funny/sad SA, that your W can identify the problems with her SIL, but does not recognize the same things about herself.
It's not necessarily that she doesn't recognize it, it is that she didn't tell me in recounting her convo with her brother. She may recognize it. Or more probably as you notice, people doen't see themselves very well and she may think that she is "not that bad" or that somehow her sitch is different.
Originally Posted By: LindaM
It sounds like your BIL is doing some good DBing! 1. "her brother is oddly detached, as if he is watching this from the sidelines." 2. "it's been about 3 years now, and her brother is just patiently waiting it out because he's seen the divorce of many of his friends and he doesn't want to go that route." 3. "her brother doesn't think he has options, and it makes it easier for him to be patient."
have you spoken to him?
yes, I agree. I do want to talk to him now. To think that he's been doing this for 3 years is amazing. My guess, knowing him, is that he never read these books.
BTW, to hold out some hope. It seems his sitch is improving. He just went on a vacation with W and kids. His W left for 1 month last year (he said he wondered if she would ever come back), but otherwise they have been living together all this time. So it seems his sitch is slowly improving.
