Things will get more pleasant between you both as time goes on smile My H started off with this ice coldness towards me in the beginning, I don't see it so much now - if at all!
Have you given up altogether with any chance of R? I'm guessing the answer is no or you wouldn't be posting on here. At the moment all she wants is to be on her own without you, BUT things can change as you know from reading the success stories on here.
Try and put her to the back of your mind and concentrate on making you a better person.
She may not be there to see the change in you, but mutual friends will. They will be telling her how you're changing by losing weight and getting a job, etc. This may annoy her at first, but she may like to think I want some of that!
Have you read Sandi's rules yet? They are a good starting block for doing a 180.

H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!