In short, I did everything wrong and really drew out our process. I argued, begged, reasoned, etc.
That's OK, many of us started out on the wrong foot. Just don't do that anymore!
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She seemed to bring up every fight we had ever had in the almost eight years we had been together, things long past.
This is pretty common, once a WAS decides they are done then they focus on every bad thing that ever happened in the M and magnify it while conveniently forgetting every good thing that ever happened. We call it "rewriting history". This helps them to justify their behavior to themselves and others, they convince themselves the marriage was ALWAYS bad.
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I tried to reason with her
You can't reason with a WAS. They are driven by emotions, not logic.
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I wanted to talk about everything so I woke her up. This lead to a fight and she moved out.
Read Sandi2's 37 Rules, don't ever initiate these types of conversations!
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I wrote her a letter saying that we should try again, listing what I thought was wrong and that we can try again
You CAN'T reason with her!!!
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Shortly after that I spoke with her father who felt he'd talk to her as he felt we should try again.
DO NOT enlist the help of family members!! You are applying pressure to her from every direction. That's just going to push her farther away. The way she sees it, you're getting everyone to gang up on her. She sees YOU as the problem, and everything you do is just reinforcing her belief that you are controlling and manipulative. You've got to stop, pull back, give her time and space.
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I know and told my wife that I was changing when we were together and that I felt I was asleep for a while.
Don't TELL her you've changed, words mean nothing to her right now because she's heard a lot of hollow promises. You've got to show her your DB'ing through actions, not words.
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We also haven't spoke in months and our divorce papers are done. Is there any hope?
There is hope as long as you care to hold it in your heart.
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Is there anything I can do?
Read DR, follow the principals. Work on you.
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I want to know how I can get my wife back and if she has the potential to be the wife I loved for so long.
No, you'll never have your old W or old M back. That's all gone. You might be able to build a new R with your W some day though. That's the goal. But first you must become the spouse only a fool would leave. Work on YOU. Good luck!
