Very sorry you're going through this! Just prepare yourself, because there are no quick fixes. It's a marathon, not a sprint. There is hope, but it's going to take a while. So take a deep breath, you've got plenty of time.
Originally Posted By: Serendipity5309
Of course, it's all my fault. House is too messy, I don't want to have sex (I initiate all the time and he's "too tired), he has found these theater people who APPRECIATE him and VALUE him and he's the happiest he's been, maybe ever.
You sound very dismissive of his comments. But you have to understand, these comments are HIS reality even if they're not yours. This is the way he sees things. If you want to have any chance of reconciling in the future, you have to see things from his point of view. You have to do 180's on what he sees as your faults in the M. And you have to table your own gripes about him, because DB'ing is all about the LBS doing ALL the work.
Quote:
My 6 year old is DEVASTATED that his hero isn't here. I have nothing to tell him.
Tell him that you are there for him. Assure him that he can always count on you. He needs some stability really bad right now. Your H is unstable, so you've got to step things up for your S.
Quote:
I need this family to stay together.
"Need" is very unhealthy. It's OK to "want" your H, but not to "need". Need is pressure, and you have to remove all pressure from him. Read Sandi2's 37 Rules and live those tips! No pressure, no M talk, no R talk. Give him time and space.
