What do you know about PPD? How have you improved your knowledge?I don't know where you live but sometimes there are support groups for men. Look into that.
Was she actually diagnosed 3 times or is that what you think happened?
It's a tough situation for both partners, PPD is very treatable if she gets the right help. I hope she does.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I've read everything I can on it and I can't say for sure she had it with the last baby but she made sure she found a antidepressant she could stay on during the pregnancy. She didn't seem depressed this time like she did with the first babies so that led me to hormone imbalance of some type. Like I said, I just can't wrap my head around the timing of this. Wanting to leave me when you are 2 months pregnant? Hard to swallow without thinking something is going on inside. Thanks for the info on support groups for men. I will look into it. I'm in Jacksonville FL by the way.
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
It seems that she was trying to take care of herself but sometimes it's inevitable. PPD does have a hormonal component. It can also look very different for different women but then all depression can present in a variety of ways.
Pregnancy can be a extremely difficult time for some women. And that means it's difficult for those who love them.
Has she been followed by someone and was she actually ever diagnosed?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
She was diagnosed for the first 2 babies but with the second one she was very aware and got in the meds very quickly. I just wish she has used a IC along with that. This time she claims to me talking to a IC but I believe that it is one of her best friends, who is a great women, and is some sort of women's counselor, very new in the field, and I just don't think a best friend can be as objective as needed. It's frustrating. She texted me again yesterday about how much she missed the kids and she couldn't wait to get them. I said, yes, I know, it [censored] not to be around them in a daily basis. When she misses me, then we will me making progress. Haha
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
You're right, a friend might not be the best counselor but you have no control of that. Maybe she is seeing someone else and you don't know. Does her insurance cover counseling? That and the stigma are often the barrier to accessing good care.
I've read several times here you asking the question "how could she leave her children?" Try to stop that and understand where she is right now. If she was a good mother (whatever that means) before you know that person is still there, she just can't do it right now. That's part of the stigma, people view these mom's as less than because they "leave their children" so to avoid being judged as a bad mother, they continue to get more and more depressed.
I don't know a mother who hasn't at some point wanted to run away from her children, but most aren't depressed or have better support.
You left them too, when you went to the shed to drink.
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When she misses me, then we will me making progress. Haha
No.
When she can resume her life and meet her goals, she will be making progress. There are no guarantees that she'll miss you. Sorry.
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Yes, too noisy and involved sometimes but always and still do love my W. That is something she has manifested In her head.
Your W has problems with your family, believe her when she tells you that.
It sounds from what you've written that your family may be controlling. Would you agree?
You like them because you're used to them, they may love her but not speak her LL, get it?
These are the changes you need to make, dig deep.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Yes she is still on my insurance coverage so when I say I don't think she is seeing a counselor it's because she would def have to use our insurance and I would be receiving the paperwork from BCBS like I do for everything else. There may have been a miscommunication on the parts about leaving her kids. I don't feel she left them at all, she hasn't, she has them for the 2 days I go to work at the fire dept, them I get them on the 3 days I'm off. I meant that I don't understand how she could leave "me" and the family as a whole when we have such young kids and had a baby with me just 9 months ago. I'm very careful not to attack her mothering in anyway or at all. She loves them more than anything. My family is controlling to a point. Asking us over for dinner a lot, which we didn't go or I'd go alone while she was working, and all holidays at there place, which just this last Xmas my W told me she as a mother wanted to start having Xmas at our home. I said sure and told my family that. I understand she has issues with things from my family and I made changes in the past when she mentioned it and stood up for her many times when I truly feel my W was being very unreasonable. Always taking her side as a husband should and then dealing with her one on one behind closed doors. What I had realized is that she just wasn't used to that type of close family. She goes a month without talking to her dad and sisters. Very different but I understood it was her. What do you mean by, "you left them too, when you went to the shed to drink"? Maybe your mixing up my story with another? I never leave them. I work 48 on and 72 hours off. I pick them up in the morning of my first day off and keep them until the night before I go back to work. So my free time consist of about 7pm till bedtime before waking up at 5am for work. And that's 2 days a week. And the 2 nights at work are not free time, being at work is work. If anything I have not made enough time for myself through all of this and haven't made enough time for my W and I in our marriage. We should have taken more time for ourselves to stay connected. To this early point I have made good changes in myself, for myself and that would benefit a new relationship down the road. Hoping and praying that is with my wife but that's still up in the air. We leave the 5th of aug for our vacation which will be a 13 hr car ride to her parents. Hoping we can have a nice stress free time with the kids.
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
Question for anyone. My W asked me to change an outlet in her house she rents because it is old and scares her. Is this one of those let her realize she left me and this is something she will need to deal with on her own or tell the landlord about or do I use it as a way to be nice and spend a few min in her company?
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
