W generally looks much healthier. Glad to see that. She's still cold and distant. Felt awkward when we're having dinner together. Just didn't know what to say. I did try to start some small talk previously but her response is restricted to yes or no answers and she perceived this as my attempt at winning her over. Small talk like asking her about her health and generally about the kids! But yesterday we just kept to ourselves unless our kids interrupt us where there be some interaction like smiles. Sure didn't feel normal. What should I do now? Just didn't want to live this way.
180 this crazy feeling I'm having. This morning I found that we didn't have much for breakfast so I went out to buy some bread and it didn't matter to me nobody noticed. The same thing happened days earlier. The thing is, I wouldn't be this thoughtful before and would have dig out some thing from the kitchen. I would not have thought about my kids not having something to eat! I'm amazed. Who would have known? I'm pretty surprised with myself and I didn't do this on purpose. Just felt right doing it. I've been generally nicer in my responses to my colleagues. Greeting people all around. It's crazy. I kinda like myself now. I'm not sure if I can keep this up. What is happening? Is this my consciousness reacting to my state of mind now? I don't feel happy though since BD and suddenly I'm acting out of character. Is my hormones acting up? I so freaking confused right now. How do I keep this up if I want to be the better 'me' right now? Do I need to be a little bit depressed all the time? MrBond, I have read in one thread, you mentioned some techniques that could help to 'change' permanently. Or something to that effect. Anyone can explain? Have anyone gone through similar changes?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
