We separated in 2011 after she had a short affair. I asked her to leave the minute I found out and she confirmed it. I executed the steps in the "180" plan, no contact, no emotion etc etc. and within two weeks she texted me and asked to meet. During this meeting we agreed to counseling and she admitted to being abused by her step-father for several years as a child. This, despite not being an excuse for an affair, is very common among people who were abuse. She also admitted to deep depression and has been taking Prozac for the last two years.
I have kept a close eye, without prying or spying, and I believe that she is not having an affair. The look in her eye and the tone of her voice is different this time. Plus we have spent a lot of time together over the last few months.
I am sticking to those 37 rules of the 180 (if I am reading them correctly), having only very limited, non-emotional contact with her.
I am confused because I want to save our marriage more than anything, but at the same time I am planning the next phase of my life without her in the back of my mind. I suspect it is a defense mechanism and intend on calling our marriage counselor for a 1 on 1 session tomorrow. I am still in a stage for the past 48 hours where I am almost "afraid" to cry, not over angry, just sad and numb while trying to figure out what to do next...
Thanks for reading my post. My offline address is htblish@gmail.com
