Am I ready for this?

[CharlieBrown]

Mtn - Been dark but just had a chance to read up on your sitch. First, my compliments on how strong you have been. You have been through a lot, especially this past weekend which was obviously very emotionally taxing. Through it all your love for your W stays strong, I am really amazed at how well you are doing. Keep it up!

As far as this weekend, what can you tell us about her BFF? Is she someone that would be a positive influence on your W and it would be good for you to be around? I assume she knows what is going on with W?

CB

[reachingHigher]

I'm inclined to suggest it would be fine to go with her to the fair too. But you have to be really careful with your emotions.

H said plenty of times he didn't mind if I went and did things with him and the boys, which I felt was clearly different from an invite.

If the boys are dying to go camping and they think the fair would be boring, it might not go well.

I agree with FY: don't use this to teach a lesson.

I went with H and S13 to a Mustang car show last August or so, and later he told me he looked at it as a fun "family time" and really wanted me to go, but at the time I was struggling badly with my emotions. It was really hard to act relaxed and normal.

CB and FY suggest finding out more info before you make your decision. I think that's a great idea. And it's only Monday so you have lots of time.

Or is there a way to do both? Camp one two days and one night with the boys and do an evening fair with W and friend?

I and thinking your W will bring up D whenever she feels pressured and scared and will leave it alone when she feels warm and loving.

[Mtnman]

Y'all are the best! The BFF is a good influence. She always compliments me on how I help with the boys. Her husband does not. He's a good guy and they have a really good marriage, I assume, but he's a job crazy person. My boys really like her kids too.

I'll go and use it to impress the friend anyway. It's funny rH, I rarely feel awkward around w when we are together. I'm still too comfortable with her. Please tell me I don't have to ride those death trap rides! Please no!!!

[Mtnman]

Meant to add she knows the situation. Probably knows more than I do.

[Mtnman]

Fun day! I decided to take off after lunch and go swimming with the boys. W came up early and just went with us. I didn't invite her, it was assumed. That's fine with me. We had a good day the pool. Laughed a lot!

Yesterday she took my grocery list and bought groceries. I checked the bill and it looks like i paid for hers too. So, it may not have been completely innocent on her part.

This is so hard when we have such fun days.

[reachingHigher]

I know, I know, Mtnman, but to me, it just adds to the collective list that W keeps in her brain that includes "fun times wih the family and Mtnman".

We had plenty of those days and I'm convinced I wouldn't be where I am without them. I actually felt relieved at the end of one of those days and knew my H was going to HP with a happy pic in his mind. it's the best you can do right now and IMO its dam good!!!

[Mtnman]

I hope so rH. I'm playing in the pool with the boys thinking about how these are the best days of our lives. How can you not see that? The boys are their happiest with the two of us together. That has to register.

[reachingHigher]

I'm guessing she sees it. She's just not ready. Patience, my friend, patience.

[BklynMom]

I agree with FY, ask the boys which they would prefer. If they would prefer camping you guys are not being a$$es by camping, all you are doing is following the schedule. You should erase any judgement you pursume she will place on the decision.

If camping is the decision it will be a much harder decision then going to the fair. it would be easy to go with the flow and not poke the bear.

Maybe say something like the boys would prefer to go camping lets discuss this together?

[Mtnman]

Thanks Bklyn! Rain is in the forecast so....let them enjoy the fair haha! No sense pushing it to be miserable. Funny how things work out!