I think your question is unclear and lack of clarity creates more difficulty than it resolves. Why don't you just ask her what you're really asking and drop the code words? Do you think if you don't use the D word then she won't realize it's an option?
Are you wondering if she is pursuing a divorce or a legal separation? Couldn't you just ask her that? You know she's pursuing something, and hoping to do it without paying solicitors if she doesn't need to, and it's not unreasonable to ask what her goal is. The answer would probably hurt, but hiding your head in the sand doesn't hurt less.
I was curious so I asked my H if he had a timeframe or something in which he was hoping to be D'd. I was surprised at his answer that he didn't have a timeframe and wasn't in a hurry, just wanted legal separation done. Asking didn't hurt, and the answer was actually less painful than what I thought it would be. Words just describe what is already there, don't be afraid of the words.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
