Thank you so much, Bright.

I would like to think that one day he will regret the way he treated me and for losing me. He turned his back on his biggest supporter.

But then, perhaps he will think that hooking up with a recently divorced woman with two young kids in two and a willingness to be the "wife" and very, very opposite of me was the best thing he ever did.

I will likely never know.

I do still catch myself being sad - for the loss of a person and a friendship that meant the world to me, for the pain and the realization that it will take a very long time to trust in that way again.

saw this on Linda's thread a while back and meant to bring it here (poor Linda's thread keeps getting threadjacked!) I thought it was very interesting.
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Originally Posted By: snodderly
As for the number of mlcers that reconcile w/their spouses, there is no way to tell how many return to the relationships because we only see a small portion of the population posting here and those that reconcile usually do not come back to post much because they are too busy reconciling and moving on from this painful experience. I wouldn't worry too much about the numbers because anything can happen along the way.

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Here's my take on this answer.

I believe that 100% of LBS's get to make the final decision in this matter in the end.

And if you are one of the ones that have not made that decision yet, well then it is not yet the end!

I used to believe this. I think what got me through those first terrible, terrible six months was the belief that MLC runs its course, that as long as he was still in contact, we had a chance, even if it was just a friendship. I no longer believe that is true. Not all of them come back or stay in touch. I think Snodderly is more correct with her caveat:
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Cadet,
That is absolutely correct. Bottom line, the lbs will be the one to make the final decision as to whether he/she wants to reconcile w/the mlcer if and when the times comes that mlcer approaches the lbs about returning home.

In terms of reconciling, it only becomes the LBS' choice when OR IF the MLCer comes back. The choice that is 100% the LBS' choice is to live life and move forward or remain stuck. I choose forward, even if I feel like a snail - and not that turbo charged one in the new Pixar movie, either!