Harder and Harder..............II

[Positivespin]

I am slowly being driven insane by my surroundings and I need a change............

Up here most of us live in old farmhouses- ours is about 180 years old. I loved the homes character, the town and the land. I had dreams of having a family and creating memories

The home is one of those old homes where if something doesnt look right- there is a reason. Why is there wallpaper? because there are 12 layers below it. Why is there a wall here? Because the family a few families back wanted all the kids to have their own room.

It had a big garage and workshop and a inground pool. I envisioned it as my sanctuary- The place I could escape to with the ones I love most. All big extended family holidays were at my house. I cooked for everyone........because thats my love.

Today, I have a mouse problem, small animal problem (woodchuck?), tiny ants everywhere and these little fruit fly looking things flying everywhere............oh, and my pool is a algae infested swamp that has a leak

My house is VERY clean. I clean AND we have a twice monthly service that comes in- its just the way it is up here i guess (thats what Im told by the "Natives")

Im trying to work on myself- get stronger, detach and be a AWESOME daddy to D3. THOSE are my priorities- everything else is overwhelming and driving me insane.

Im trying to eliminate the pests and get the pool going because I NEED TO SELL THE HOUSE . Its just another reminder of my crushed dream and too much of my $$$ is going to it.

Here is the kicker- its in my W name. We did this because her credit allowed us to eliminate PMI. I am staying at the house because I am primary parent for D3 and I wanted her to have stability of her bedroom- PLUS I wanted things to go back to what they were.

Now im at a stage where I need to shake everything up- but I cant.This house is killing me- We had 10 viewings and no offers- Not good.

I feel like my life is in a holding pattern until this piece changes. It was the house of my dreams for my family. Now its WAY to much house for me to maintain...........

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!