I think what helped me is understanding that detaching is a process. You will cycle. I am still cycling but, being aware that it is just part of the process helps me get through the down cycles.
One day you are feeling positive and confident and then the bottom falls out and you feel sad and lonely. That is cycling as I can best describe it. If someone else has another definition of cycling I would like to hear it too.
So, just know that you are going to down cycle. When you notice that you are cycling down, make sure your S isnt aware of it. Keep your PMA and loving detachment strong. Trust me, its not easy sometimes. Only let your S see you confident and positive. Come here to vent and get your feelings out. Just like you are doing.
You are doing great. Keep the GAL and 180's going.
When he has an attitude with you, tell him flat out that he is being rude and disrespectful and that he is not to speak to you that way. If you find yourself getting ready to get mad or break down in front of S, excuse yourself and go compose yourself.
It is your choice to put up with his attitude. You can also choose not to put up with it. Choose the latter and call him on it if he is being rude or disrespectful. Show him only confidence and a positive attitude and self-respect. Act AsIf you are moving forward with your life with or without him.
Love begets Love and Hate begets Hate. If he is rude and disrespectful to you, treat him politely and respectfully. It will throw him off balance. Dont be a doormat though. I feel that we must stand up for ourselves and reclaim our self-respect and self-esteem. If he is rude, tell him that he is being rude.
AnotherStander is right! Focus on you, not him.
MrBond is also correct. Have faith in the process even when you are scared and lonely. Especially when you are scared and lonely.
Remember, DBing, PMA, 180's, AsIf's are things you do to better yourself. Not to try to trick him into coming back to you.
GAL and PMA and acting as if he is never coming back will help you primarily to get on with your life. You will find that it will help you detach and move forward. He will notice when you do this. He may not react positively to it but thats his problem.
Get out and GAL. Stop worrying about him and how he is acting. Dont allow him to affect your PMA. He can only affect your PMA if you let him.
Stay strong and I hope this helps you in some small way.
