Don't understand, why now???? Plus what do I do??

[hotwheelsaust]

ct man, it is great that you have been sober for 10 months, so congratulations. Your comment above "I've been sober going on 10 months by the grace of God. I've been going to a church addiction group for the last 7 months. I already know the things I did wrong. I've apologized profusely and have done a 180 on the things that I was doing wrong. It's all to no avail as she says it was too little too late. She says she's given me plenty of chances and this was too late. I tried to explain to her that I never realized she was so miserable and I never realized how crappy I was to her. In fact I feel as though I was never given a second chance, let alone many chances, because she never once told me she was contemplating leaving me nor did she ever give me an ultimatum to quit or get out. But that is my cross to bear. I already know that my situation was directly related to my actions and attitude. I take full responsibility for them. I was just thinking that if she went to a program with people that have had similar experiences she could deal with the anger and resentment that I've put in her heart. She's just unwilling to let go of the anger and resentment and although I have changed for the better, she speaks to me with utter contempt no matter what the situation. I just can't understand how someone that has spent over 23 years together has absolutely no forgiveness in them."
This is exactly me, minus the alcohol. It is just what happens with the WAS. All I can do, and you too, is improve yourself, work on GAL and continue your 180's. Because at this stage our WAS don't want to do or have anything to do with us. It is bloody harsh and hard to accept, but we need to accept. We can have hope, faith and love that one day they may see a better us and create an opening for us to come back into their lives. Until that day happens, we cannot go through life waiting for it, because it may never come.

Please listen to MrBond, yes he is a very straight to the point person, but does have a lot of knowledge to give. Most of us LBS do want sympathy from others (in a way we deserve some) but we also need quite a big kick up the backside for what we have allowed our marriages to become and for the way we treated the most important person in our life.