Not confused...moving towards acceptance

[AJM]

I agree. I think you spelled it out above, right? It's not that you don't want to contact your H or talk to him or that you wish him ill. It's that it doesn't work for you to talk to him. I get ya. It doesn't work for me to talk to me ex either. It hasn't for many years now.

I can tell you that she doesn't like that. Doesn't like not having her punching bag. Her "safety net" in the background. I can tell you that many other MLCr's don't like not being in control or having contact with "mommy" from time to time. They truly don't seem to understand why you wouldn't want to talk to them. I put that out there because you will be approached by him at some point. It'll likely happen. If and when it does, you can deal with it then. You know what works for you or rather, what is not working for you personally. You did not destroy your marriage. You did not ask for this. But you can realistically look at it, and figure out what works for you with regards to communication or information sharing.

I get the PTSD feelings when you so much as see them. Or feeling like the human race is a lost cause. Hmm.. I suspect I've heard that somewhere...Sunday school perhaps? It brings a lot of color to the idea of forgiveness and what its for and why it is so valuable an item.

Do what works for you to keep your peace. You will be able to deal with the rest much better after that. It'll help clear your head even more. Seriously.

Peace,
AJ