Divorced from a WAW....gut feelings

[JJAC2005]

My question today would be when is it, if ever is it okay to sit down and have a talk about your own feelings and intentions

[JJAC2005]

Here is another thought...
I have been doing really great at GAL, 180s, and taking care of myself....
There has been even a few glimmers that something is working...as the ex has been communicating now and then with a couple of rather long days spent together....I have another thread going on Divorced, not done, but wondering

I have made my amends...my apologies....and she knows a lot of what my heart still wants for us.

My thought is....when in all of this does she begin to really examine her own role and actually make some sort of effort to apologize herself?

[MrBond]

"My thought is....when in all of this does she begin to really examine her own role and actually make some sort of effort to apologize herself?"

Doesn't always happen. In fact, you don't know if she thinks any of it was her fault to begin with. That's why you can't have any expectations of how things are going to go. Just because you may have changed it doesn't mean that your spouse has.

[JJAC2005]

?Without the partner recognizing the need for change or work needed on their own parts in the R....
Is there ever a realistic chance for relationship reconciliation?

[JJAC2005]

I would think that question needed to be thrown out!
Impossible for any relationship to survive without some sort of accountability (eventually anyway) for being a partner we all deserve!

[Thumpered]

Im no vet, but i'll throw in my 2 cents.

You can ask that question all day long, but what is it gonna matter right now. Your not gonna get the answers you want or satisfy your question.

It has to be about you, detaching, and letting your spouse figure their own crap out. You can sit and wait, or you can make the changes you need to make for yourself. I know how repetitive that sounds on these boards, but unfort. its the truth, you can make your partner think anything.

Will it get to a point your partner "gets it"? Heck no one on this planet knows that answer, including your spouse. IMO don't think about what they're thinking, control what your thinking.

My wife is finally understanding whats she's done to our family, but that doesn't mean crap right now. She may or may not come back, I know deep down I cant let myself think or hope she will, it does me no good.

[JJAC2005]

Ok, I get the point....
But why do you give up on the hope?

[Thumpered]

Im not saying give up hope, but dont rely on it cause you tend to get let down ALOT. It seems when you finally truly let go, and im not even there myself, you stand the best chance it seems.

[JJAC2005]

Questions...is there at any point in all of this you bring up your intentions and desires to reconnect or reconcile the relationship?

[JJAC2005]

The reason I ask...is that I found our last couple of get togethers and talks going very well.
Yeah I made the mistake of getting a little to confident and excited things seemed to be really working in my favor, and of course the walls were quickly built back up.
But I did feel that connections and points were made on a internal level...like I think she got it, although not all of it, but enough to flicker that light upstairs!