Don't understand, why now???? Plus what do I do??

[ct man 1969]

MrBond,

I've been sober going on 10 months by the grace of God. I've been going to a church addiction group for the last 7 months. I already know the things I did wrong. I've apologized profusely and have done a 180 on the things that I was doing wrong. It's all to no avail as she says it was too little too late. She says she's given me plenty of chances and this was too late. I tried to explain to her that I never realized she was so miserable and I never realized how crappy I was to her. In fact I feel as though I was never given a second chance, let alone many chances, because she never once told me she was contemplating leaving me nor did she ever give me an ultimatum to quit or get out. But that is my cross to bear. I already know that my situation was directly related to my actions and attitude. I take full responsibility for them. I was just thinking that if she went to a program with people that have had similar experiences she could deal with the anger and resentment that I've put in her heart. She's just unwilling to let go of the anger and resentment and although I have changed for the better, she speaks to me with utter contempt no matter what the situation. I just can't understand how someone that has spent over 23 years together has absolutely no forgiveness in them. But thanks for bashing me on this forum. As if I didn't feel shitty enough.