lost and alone now

[TryingToDo180]

Glad to hear you're ok K At least you will be prepared for him moving out. I've been with my H for 21 years and one day he just upped and left. He even did it when me and my son were out for the day and then sent me a text to say he'd moved out!
You're going to feel sad for a while, but what kept me going was coming on forums and reading that there might be hope yet. That taught me not to give up on hope! When H told me he was going to see a lawyer about filing for D, I had tears streaming down my face when I came on the internet. After typing in "is there hope after divorce?", I got the response back, "yes there is!". That made me dry my eyes again and keep on going. It's that little bit of hope that's keeping me going
I think after the initial shock and upset of your H moving out, you will be able to relax a bit better It must be awful for you at the moment knowing that he is with you part of the time, but his mind is elsewhere. It will be easier to do a 180 once he leaves.
Having the boys every weekend is a bit much! Is that all weekend? When my H first left me for OW, He only ever saw my son on Sundays and never had him to stay over as he was living with the OW. I told him I wanted him to take him out on his own, which he did for a few weeks. One Sunday, he brought his son back and my son was saying the name of the OW. I said why's he saying her name? My H said he probably remembers it from before, when we went out with her and her son before the affair had started!
I later found out that she had gone along for a trip out.
Anyway all this is not helping you!
I wouldn't have your H take your children away from you every weekend, especially if that's the only time you will get to spend with them and do things with them. Most couples when separated have their children every other weekend. At least you'll be able to go out with your friends whilst he's got your kids I went out for the first time last week since he'd left and thoroughly enjoyed myself I could drink as much as I wanted and come in as late as I wanted
One thing puzzles me. You mentioned before that you don't belong to any church. You've asked us to pray for you, so you must believe in God. Why not start going to Church and surround yourself with good honest people that will support you My Church have been a great help, especially in the early days. They also run social activities and you don't have to go to church to attend these The good thing is that no-one forces you to do anything that you don't want to do. Where I live, we also have a Sunday school for the children who get told bible stories
This no contact is sometimes a good thing, but someone once mentioned to me about treating them as you would a neighbour. Tonight I wanted to ring him to tell him about a job I saw, as I know he is looking for one. Before I rang I asked myself "would I mention it to a neighbour if I knew he was looking for a job?" the answer was yes I would, so I rang him. In your sitch though, I would go fully no contact for a while whilst he gets used to his new life. If he wants space, then give him more than he needs! lol. He probably won't want to talk to you in the beginning either and it'll be upsetting for you to talk to him.
Remember as well, this is not a race, it's a marathon! If he decides to come back after a week, he's not finished with the OW yet. It took my H 8 months to finally return home and staying instead of yoyoing backwards and forwards. Believe me, that hurts more than anything!