DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[Mimi00]

"I know unfortunately he felt negative, he didn't feel I was happy when he would walk in the door after work. I'm not a person who is a cheerleader type, but I feel like he knows me and should know that the fact I am there EVERYDAY when he came home with a freshly cooked meal on plate for him should have spoke volumes, but I guess that's not what he saw as love."

You've got it backwards. He didn't understand that that's how YOU EXPRESSED love. Guys do need a cheerleader to feel a sense of self worth. It's the way thins are.

"It's kind of annoying he wanted me to show all of this "happiness" and feeling wanted when he came home from work,"

AGAIN, this is how guys are geared. You have to understand this because if things don't work out in your M, your next relationship will be the same unless this changes.

"but on his off days, when I would come home from work, he's be sleep on the sofa, or watching a movie, he only had a meal for me a few times and he didn't seem "happy" to see me,"

Because the two of you EXPRESS love differently. If it had bothered you, then you should have brought it up.

As for the move, go and do it if it is in YOUR best interest. You need to live your life right now. There are going to be alot of tough times ahead in dealing with him. You need to get yourself strong.

I totally understand NOW....he didn't tell me things like this until he was already "unhappy". If he would have said soemthing earlier instead expecting me to know I would have changed a long time ago.

I understand the ways he wants wants to be love now that I have read 5LL and now that he's more vocal (after no longer wanting to work on things he's way more transparent about what he needs and understanding)

I have changed completely over the last few months all for the better. I do understand NOW than guys need a cheerleader. Ive changed to become that after realizing itnon my own (through research etc) And he saw that. I know its true change bc it flowed out of me, not forced...it was how I was when we were dating (and I didn't notice I did it bc it was just natural) before I'm foolishly allowed hurts from him to change me. I know now that I should not allow outside factors to change me. I need to be consistent and true to who I am regardless ofnothers actions, treat others how you'd like to be treated. I failed at that for a while but even before he announced he was unhappy I noticed some of my faults and slowly was changing but I guess he didn't notice or it was already too late.

But if things don't end up woriing out w H. I feel I am already way more knowledgeable about relationships than I was before this happened.

H was my first everything....I dated and kissed before him.... butbhe was my first long term relationship etc.... so things he and other people learn from multiple relationships had before marriage I missed and learned what not to do w/ H. I thought he'd give me a second chance knowing this...but he doesn't care I'm learning and growing. He's over it.