DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[MrCAS]

I would not tell him your plans with a text. That is a cheesy cowardly way to do things.

My W chooses to do everything by email. It is anonymous. It is no real interaction. You can lay a BA turd on someone's plate and walk away without ever having to see or hear a reaction.

A decision of this magnitude deserves interaction. Explain your position. Show him more class and dignity than he showed you and do it with no mention of how or why he accepted one more year of working where he is. If he brings it up you two can discuss it but right now it is done deal and has little bearing on what you need to do for yourself.

I suggest you get a book by Gary Chapman called "The five love languages". I have read it and plan on reading it again shortly to really digest what it says. It explains how everyone is wired differently and how each of react to different modes of being shown love. Your H sounds like he is "words of affirmation" type while you seem to be an "acts of service" type.

Mr. Bond is right when he says you need to do what is right for you at this particular time of your life. I was living in South Carolina and moved back to Minnesota in order to keep my house from going into foreclosure. An equally important part of moving back was that I knew that in order to have any chance of saving my marriage I needed to be here set of down South. I am not sure right now which one occupies the top position but I am attacking each one with equal fervor.

My wife was not thrilled that I chose to move back to Minnesota at all. I'm sure there is a myriad of reasons for it but I'm not going to get into mind reading with her. It is a pointless and fruitless effort. I did it because it was the best thing for me to do for myself. At this point I could not take her personal feelings about the situation into consideration. It was not an easy decision to make but I have to look at the big picture.

Moving back here allowed me to continue my life in surroundings that I was extremely familiar with. It is easier for me to move on and do what is best for me in comfortable surroundings. I think you will find that is what is going to be best for you as well.

I also understand the feelings of craving foods that you grew up with. There are many things here in Minnesota that I missed that I could not get down South. Sometimes it feels a little selfish to feel that way. However, one must take one's level of comfort into consideration.