Ummm, guys? I've told you, I thought, that I'm no fun.
That was one of the things on H's list actually (You don't make me laugh. I laughed more in a 10 minute phone call with OW than I've laughed with you over the last 10 years.)
But fun(ny) is in the eye/ear of the beholder and while some people do find me funny - H is not one of them.
Although! Although, lol, I have caught him repeating my non-funny stories for other people. Can't figure out WHY he would want to do that?
Complicated, yes I was asking you about the OW and living arrangements. I was wondering if they had the chance yet to experience "real life" together, instead of just stolen moments. I think for some it does take a dose of "real life", and then even more time for them to admit they may have misjudged the color of the grass (Did I see a post recently about that? For some reason I think it was a Wonka post, or a Wonka recommended post. On how when the WAS finally gets with the OP, they try super extra hard to make it work because the WAS has surrendered so much to be with that OP.)
Originally Posted By: complicated
I don't know. I really feel like he was starting to show signs of moving through his mlc but I don't know.
As I understand it, progress through this is one step forward two steps back. (They do this to provide plenty of frustration to the LBS KIDDING!! The MLCer, while possibly mean and spewing, doesn't exhibit devious behavior like this.) So when you see "progress", don't pay too much attention to it. Validate, but no fireworks and marching band. No expectations, until much much time has passed.
Originally Posted By: complicated
Then the revelation about OW I even said we can work through this. Then bam! He gets mean and I'm trying to big time detach again. I just don't know what happened.
Ok, the following is just my opinion. And I am not a counselor or anything like that. But, I think we LBS's make a mistake in being too forgiving too quickly for affairs. The WAS, if possessing of a conscious to any degree, feels really lousy about the affair. Oh, they may not show that - mine didn't. But they need to have the opportunity to make atonement - for their own peace of mind. If we make it too easy then they can't get rid of that bad feeling. And, this is two fold. If we don't receive atonement, we get to play the martyr. THAT'S a bad role to play, it does NOT enrich the individual or the marriage.
Complicated I must confess I am not up to date on your sitch. I will read your threads at first opportunity, and if I have any insights will share them with you.
On my own front, H said he didn't sleep well at the casino. I of course asked why. He said he couldn't turn his mind off. I asked if it was anything I could help with. He said no, he just has to figure stuff out for himself.
I didn't ask any more questions. But I guess something's percolating up there. Yee haw.... what's next? Lol
Cheers!! ~~ ~~
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Complicated I must confess I am not up to date on your sitch. I will read your threads at first opportunity, and if I have any insights will share them with you. 