Wow, I love all of this advice. I don't have much to offer, I just want to ask if she is typically a forgetful, fly by the seat of her pants person? I am asking because that is me and it isn't that I necessarily forget that I need to call someone or don't want to spend time with my besties but if they say "call me Tuesday" there are many, many times that I won't remember until Friday, or the following Tues. so if you say call me in August, depending on what type of person she is, she may not remember until Sept or Oct - and not because you aren't important to her.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
I would be like you too, Valeska19, and probably choose option 1 and let the issue go, weighing out if it's "worth it" to voice my opinion. I'm someone who doesn't like rocking the boat, so often time I'll bite my tongue. The problem with that is that we don't get our own needs met and (for me at least), putting everyone's needs before mine for a long time would probably create resentment within me.
I think option #3 is definitely a good route and it will probably take time to effectively articulate to your X how you want to be treated. There will be times where she might not respond well, but I hope there will also be times where you speaking up will improve the interactions between you and your X.
...a few hours later she mentioned that we could talk but it couldn't be until August.
Geesh, no priority for her for you, is there?
Me: Gotcha well just to check back in with me when you get back into town. X: Well how about this.. because I may forget, just reach out early August and we'll pick a day
Clearly not a priority...
And instead of being resentful about it... I have three options really.
1. Let the issue go. 2. Let the person go. 3. Teach them how I want to be treated.
And IMO - it's far TOO OFTEN that I chose number one.
Because I'm scared of #2
And because I don't know how to communicate #3
#3 - is what I tried to explain to xw without pressuring her or making her feel bad about forgetting..
... I just don't know if I succeeded.
How about 1 & 2. Let it go and let her go. I think it is time, don't you? (((Val)))
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
