Ok, not going to spend too much time on my H & SM's comments. My short version is, it was I who pulled away from my H for a few months. I truly believed I was going to leave him. On a family vacation I decided I was no longer in love with him & was done. I had not told him, and through counciling did some work to see that I could take action to try to "fall back in love" and started to try to communicate with him that I needed help around the house. 2 months later, he told me he was having an affair & here we are. If he had continued to not be helpful & never told me of the affair, it could have been me walking away.

When I read your story, and whenever I see a man mention not helping around the house it with the kids & that their wife (WAS) complained if this, I see it as very valid. If you get honest with yourself, look within and see that is something that you indeed neglected, help out!! I had to get honest with myself about my shortcomings while putting my husbands out of my mind. I had become unorganized, so I changed that. We look at their complaints, our own self inventories, and try to change the things within ourselves that we don't like. We don't become doormats and just accept the blame for everything.

Your 180s look great! Keep it up, read all of the book. Keep posting.

M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D