You can see the stars, but still not see the light

[Takevowsserious]

You ladies are the BEST! xoxo

Thanks Gal, I have been thinking about you, wondering what's going in your life. I'm glad you stopped by before I left for vaca

You are right rH, the texting has been better when we are out doing family things. But I think it is going to come down to HER need to text him and know what's going on every minute of the trip.

I am not going to say anything about the texting before the trip. But, if he tries constantly texting while we are doing stuff with the kids, I will say something. Our children deserve to have their father's attention on vacation.

There may be some stress and anxiety for him regarding the trip. I have the 2012 holiday season burned into my mind with his crazy behavior and moods. All the reminders of family time seemed to be hard on him. But I think he is in a different place now, a bit further along. I believe he would not be going on this trip if he absolutely didn't want to.

I will comment on your thread tomorrow when I'm not so stinking tired!

You are also right UW (as usual, my friend!) about my H seeing FT's flaws. I think he started to see them awhile ago, but it is such a process. I'm not sure if it helps or hurts the process that he saw her faults very clearly pre-crisis.

I see what you mean about her pulling harder, and the effect it has. I sense he is trying to cater to her to make her happy as she is probably in a tizzy about this trip. But in reality, he can't make her happy long- term. And I believe, crisis or not, he is not going to like her giving him sh!t about spending time with his kids. Yes, the real issue is that I'm there, but that's too bad!

I see what you are saying too... I'm certainly not jealous of the life he's leading. A life of lies and deceit, hurting the people closest to you? No thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So H rolls in around 3;00 am last night. Of course did not come upstairs to change!

Boys were up at the crack of dawn this morning. We all parade downstairs, and as you can imagine, they are not exactly quiet. Once I get them settled with some breakfast and bathroom duty, I decide to try to catch a few winks on the couch as they are snuggled up next to me under a blanket watching tv.

After maybe about a half hour or so, H wakes up and says I should go up to bed to get some rest. Which I do, and sleep for a few more hours - awesome!!!

H down today, quiet at times, and not feeling well at all. His stomach was hurting him quite badly. Some more serious texting today, looked sad at times.

Booked my three day beach trip with my sister today, and he seemed down about that too. I think it didn't help that when S5 heard I would be away for a few days, he started hugging me and crying I've never been away from the boys for more than 24 hours.

He apologized this evening for "being such a lump" and not helping out more. I said I understood and hoped he felt better and got some sleep tonight. He did not look well all day.

The pressure continues to build, but I know it's not from me.

I'm going to bed tonight excited about the vacation and my beach trip with my sis. Tomorrow will be a busy day, then we leave. Will check in tomorrow before I go