Questions without answers...am I stuck in place?

[albamarie]

did he come home? You handled that second phone call so well. God bless you Dawn. In the middle of all this insanity you are this man's rock

thanks Linda, Yea, he came home an hour later and he was smelly. He really did spend the last 2 days at the lakefront and walking thru downtown to avoid facing the realities of life.

It took some time to come in the house, stopping to lay on the porch first, then the living room floor. I went to bed leaving him to his transition home.

~Today it's obvious to see he is broken, dep, scared, and no where near any expectance or understanding of life. He watched me laugh at something on tv and said, see I don't get the humor...life seems to be such a waist of time, it's pointless.

Maybe...just maybe, he IS seeing everything in front of him and he's just scared to jump in...he keeps saying, why, so I can fail again.

He mentioned work slowing down and us becoming homeless The bills getting bigger, the kids not making enough $$$, his age, lack of agility, all the MLC stuff.

He said all this in the beginning, tried to cover it all up w an A, drinking, partying, dressing "cool", blaming me, and spending money.

Now he has the same words, insecurities, w a different approach, a more thoughtful, self analyzing, trouble shooting approach, he's reaching out for answers.

Is this an MLC change, is this a path down the tunnel showing any progress or at least movement? For me, it's easier, but it may also be my own ability to WAW and understand it's not about me.

He called me his thread, I saw it yesterday, but I didn't jump in or indulge.

~MIZ, thanks for the prayer, I'll take it! My heart is not really breaking for him as I am too new at practicing detachement, I don't want to backslide, but I am being understanding.