Still here and reading along...been busy at work thank God--but I'm beat! Things have slowed down at work.
The sitch is the same. I asked my W if she will commit to M and that I'm ready to work with her, but we both have to commit. Same script don't know how, feeli gs gone...I said we need tools go to counseling or retroV.
She said D is the answer, I told her I don't agree but do what she has to do, if this is her decision I can't do anything about that.
What a trip, so she's on her way to filing but yet she continue to want to do stuff with her family and put on a face that were still a family. Yesterday her aunt is here visiting she invited me and I said I have plans with the kids I went on with my plans. When we finished, I asked her if too late to go to her family she said come. I felt bad because I know her aunt want to see the kids so I went.
I'm so done putting this fake family for her family. I asked her when are you gonna tell them you're filing for D? She said when the time is right. I just look at her in disbelief, thinking to myself do you really expect me to put on this fake life then when were home you go get your fix with OM?
Next weekend, full of family gathering including her uncle staying in our house. She said "WE" are going Saturday and Sunday. I'm really feel like bolting out...she can take the kids that's fine with me. But regarding us I think it's time for her to face the reality of her decision.
I'm done with this charade. I don't want to fake it anymore. I will find a GAL next weekend. Her uncle is nice and was hospitable to us in the past so I won't say he needs to stay somewhere else so I might spend the weekend with my mom's place will see.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
