Things are going fairly well... I still have moments of pain, uncertainty and loneliness yet I have found that life goes on and happiness is a fleeting moment in time. Joy for life, whether in good times or bad times is my true north direction. I am finding this joy in many different avenues and one in particular is my biggest source of joy.
Still no contact with my stbx and for now this is how I want to proceed. It has been just shy of a year by about 2 weeks since the initial bomb drop. This has been a tough year and I am really thankful for the opportunity for me to grow as a person. I am learning new communication skills. The other day my D14 was in a horrible mood. I asked her if everything was okay and she gave me the standard "yep". I said hhmm okay it just seemed to me like you are upset about something and if you need to talk I'm willing to listen. About 5 minutes later she said "I'm just frustrated because I left my purse with all my money in it at church". I said " I can see why your frustrated, I would be upset as well". She went on about how she has some personal stuff in there etc... I validated and empathized. At the end I asked her if she could think of a way to rectify the situation. She came up with a workable solution and I helped her achieve her goal of getting it back. She immediately calmed down and we had a very pleasant evening. Before i prolly would have said something like " I don't know what your problem is but don't take it out on me" and the argument would have been on. Her concerns would not have been validated and we would have fought. I truly am thankful that I am having a better relationship with my D.
Without the bomb drop on my head and heart I would not have looked at me and realized the world was not the problem, the problem was inside of me. I am really in a good place right now, like i said I still have good/bad days but am thankful to be where I am at this moment.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
