Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

Stop talking about what YOU want. You haven't stopped doing that even though you keep saying that you are going to what your W wants for a change.

Right, sorry...

I hate to ask but I'm sure that wasn't all that was discussed. How did it come up and what was discussed?

Well, when she wrote "I have spent over ten years doing the work." from her last letter. I feel like she hasn't really done any work on our relationship and our communication problems.
She responded by telling me all the ways she acted lovingly towards me in the past. That wasn't what I meant, and it seems like she doesn't understand that WE need to do work on our R TOGETHER. Her acts of love or my acts of love in the past were not enough to stop us from getting here.

I know I'm supposed to focus on how W feels and I'm supposed to focus on my work. I see the mistakes Im making thanks to you guys.

I'm confused as to what to do now. Do I seek mediation and D to show W I'am listening to her and I respect her wants, or do I not bring it up until she does again?

I don't remember most of our conversation, but it was a very low key, calm exchange. If it comes back to me I'll post.