Hi UW ~ believe me, your words of friendship and encouragement are always the loudest in my head
It's hard trying to not only feel resentful, but to not act resentful or show those emotions as well. It's hard not being in a normal freakin R where you can openly talk about your feelings!!!
I am really struggling with not getting ahead of myself. My mind can't stop thinking of all the various future scenarios. Not productive, I know. Trying to live in the now, but limbo land svcks. I think that's why I perseverate so much on the future.
You do have quite a rep around here. And it is a damn good one
Hi Linda ~ I want to be very clear here... I, in NO way, believe that you are fat, frumpy, old, unloveable, etc.!!!! You most definitely are better than any worthless ho bag
Plus you are a nurse/lawyer - how freakin awesome is that????
I'm trying not to even THINK about OW withdrawal. I am hoping he is the one that gets sick of her and dumps her sorry ass, but who knows what the dynamics are really like between them. I just hope it is an ugly break-up.
As far as the trip, you KNOW I got snacks a plenty!!! I never go anywhere without having fruit snacks as it is, so I loaded up on snacks for vacation. After all, H and the kids both get cranky when they are hungry, and I do not want to have to deal with that disaster lol!
Hi Complicated ~ I wonder if they really do see how flawed the OW is, but admitting that would be admitting they are flawed too. Though my H has admitted that he "has issues" and "is fvcked up", so I sort of feel like he may feel that he doesn't deserve me in a sense. Better to stick to a shallow, drama filled A where he doesn't have to face any of his issues.
I am hoping that he will enjoy spending time with his family on this trip. And for some reason, I think he will
Three years is a long time to stand. Your H and family are lucky to have someone as loyal and devoted as you. I hope one day, your H will come to see that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got "Silver Linings Playbook" from Netflix because I read the book and loved it. The movie was great too - I really enjoyed watching it.
H knew I had been waiting for the movie and really wanted to see it. I thought it would be pressure if I *gasp* suggested we watched the movie together, so I watched it by myself the other night when he wasn't home.
When he got home, I told him how good it was, how funny it was. He said, I saw a commercial for it the other day and thought of you
So he watched it by himself last night (which I wasn't sure he would actially watch it). Told me this morning that he really liked it. Wonder if he got the whole not seeing what is right before your eyes message? Probably not! Lol!
He told me he ended up not going to sleep last night till 3:30 am. I said, "Were you itchy?" And he replied after a pause, "That was part of it." He didn't volunteer what the other part was.
His parents came over tonight and we celebrated his dad's birthday. H thanked me for everything, said dinner was really good and he appreciated me getting the card, gift card, and cake.
Texting even while his parents were here. I went into the garage to ask him a question, and I seemed to startle him while he was texting. Hmmm, wonder who he could be texting...
Later, he asks me if its okay (asking permission again) if he meets the golf guys out for a drink. So the two options are 1. He's really meeting the golf guys and kinda clings to them because they don't know the "old" him and he's alienated himself from most everyone else or 2. He's meeting up with FT.
I personally think it may be choice two. I think this family trip has her wanting to have H on a tight leash AND muzzle!
Doesn't matter which is true - either way, I consider it running.
Tomorrow is church and then maybe a trip to Target to get a few last minute things for vacation. I would love to find a straw cowboy beach hat!
Good night
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
