Hey, there. I ask myself these very same questions all the time. I did the same thing - we separated before, got back together, and then fell into the same pattern and I didn't apply what I had learned here the first time around. My wife just told me "I should hate her" (for what she's doing). The only response I felt was appropriate was texting her that I don't hate her.
Don't know if this helps, but figured it can't hurt to let you know you're not alone in having those kinds of thoughts.
