About 12 days ago my wife and I were talking and she was asking what I talk to my MC about. I told her that my conversations were between my MC and me. I told her that I would answer general questions but not specific details.
Well, she then proceeded to the refrigerator where we keep our schedule on the calender. She said for me to make an appointment for of us to see MC together on the 12th of July and said that maybe the MC needs a fresh perspective. So I made the appointment.
I did not talk to her about the appointment except for confirming it with the MC and telling her that I had made the appointment for the morning of the 12th.
I did not mention the MC appointment to her again. The morning of our couples MC she came downstairs for breakfast with her wedding rings on. I asked her if she would like to talk about this and she said no. I left it at that.
I went to MC by myself thinking that she was probably not going to go. About 5 to 10 minutes before my scheduled appointment, she texted me and said she was running late but she would be there soon. I texted back, thanks for letting me know.
The MC went fairly well. She is still confused about what she wants but, we got to talk about some of our issues with MC.
W and I have talked about her issues with me prior to couples MC. The couples MC revealed something new to me. She believes that I am trying to control her and that she does not want to feel like she is being controlled.
Part of her feeling controlled is the fact that my boundaries (eg. not giving up the marital bedroom and my uncomfortableness with her having "divorced dad" over while his and our kids have play dates.
These play dates occur while I am out of town. They have even gone the drive-in movies while I was out of town. S informed me prior to going to movies and I told her that I was not comfortable with her going. I explained that the drive-in is a special family event that I enjoyed and that it was hurtful to go with divorced dad and his kids without me. S explained to me that they were taking the kids to the movies and it was not a date.
Two days later I find out that they had another playdate and they stayed until about 10pm.
This did not sit well with me and I had a talk with both "divorced dad" and my W. This caused some heated discussions between me and my W. I then made it clear to W and divorced dad that it is my firm boundary that "divorced dad" is not to hang out with my W while I am not around. I feel he is a clear and present threat to my family and I will not tolerate it. I told my W that I will fight for our family and I wont sit back and watch it fall apart without a fight. I hope that this ultimatum does not push her out the door. Being a doormat to her is not one of my choices. My self-respect is one of my choices and if she cannot respect me, where does that leave our R? In the toilet...
Since this interaction, I have noticed that my wife is being less rude and less disrespectful towards me. Hmmmm, who would have thought. Today is the 13th and my W has kept her wedding ring on. She has not committed to continued MC but she has not taken it off the table yet either.
I will update when anything new comes up.
Please let me know what any of you think of this new development, either positive or negative critiques are welcome as always.
