Ahh, Linda, the chair, I didnt really hate it, it's a thing, after all. I hated what it represented. In the beginning of all this, my xh kept telling me how unhappy he was and how he wanted a new life. Yet, every night, he sat in that chair. I'd come home, there he'd be. No matter where I was or what I was doing at any given moment, I knew he was in that chair.
In the middle of the night, when I got up to go to the bathroom, I'd look in the living room - he's in the freakin chair. LOL!
So, where was that big life he wanted? How was being in that chair solving his unhappiness?
The only time he really left the chair, was if he got a text from her. And yes, for a long time I was angry about that. Until I wasnt. I realized that it was so sad. To claim such unhappiness, yet, do nothing about it. To tell your wife and your son you dont want to be here, yet, stay sitting in that chair.
So, eventually, I did feel compassion for him. How very sad, to see this man I knew and loved for so long reduced to this. To think that he was in such crisis that he was willing to take whatever little crumbs the ow offered in the way of a text and be so hungry for so little.
The chair no longer held any power after I realized all that. And so, in my UR way, it became a joke between us. I would put signs on it, and decorate it. If he wwent to the bathroom, I would turn it around. I made it something different than what I had made it before.
And to this day, my xh tells me that he misses that part of me. If I had to guess, I think he misses most of me. He says he never met anyone like me. I tell him, and you never will. There is only one UR, and you were lucky to have her. The last time he said it, I heard him mumble under his breath - yes, I was.
And instead of getting annoyed or hurt, I thought about him waiting and your H waiting. And was filled with pity for their empty lives. I often feel compassion for my H when he's depressed or confused, but NEVER felt compassion for anything to do with the Tramp before. Never! But from what you have told me, I think he's feeling so crummy about his empty useless life, has so little self-respect, that he paced around for over an hour waiting for her, then RAN like a love-sick teen when she twitched her finger. Sort of pathetic huh? That's not the strong manly guy I married.
I'm sure RT will p!ss me off again, but think this feeling is a good sign It's nice to have my PMA back. Thanks guys!!! [/quote]
The last time he said it, I heard him mumble under his breath - yes, I was. 
