Nero I do remember that commercial with the Russian woman coming down the runway in the same baggy dress as "swimwear" then "evening wear." It was so funny. Last summer my H said that RT had told him - seriously - that all Americans are obese slobs and every second woman in Russia could be a model. Yikes! Couldn't tell by her skinny ugly little butt :)
It must be rough for you to have to deal with your mom (periods of confusion, periods of meanness, periods of normality) AND a MLCer (periods of confusion, periods of meanness, periods of normality). Holy cow Nero. No wonder you feel overwhelmed and down sometimes.
I hope your poor aunt in FL recovers. Poor lady. How is your H dealing with the situation?
I'm so glad you're going to go away to the shore with your nieces. It will be so good to escape from your mom and H for a bit. Good food, good company. And a baby to smooch! Just don't answer your cell phone
How is your garden Nero? I bought some mini rose bushes and herbs and planted them in pots on the deck. But the dill looks like it's dying. Do you ( or Bea maybe) have any dill-life-saving suggestions?
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
it was really great at the shore - kinda like old times, a giant batch of people all jammed in elbow to elbow- nice selection of different activities and personalities-
baby is adorable- we had some real fun - just hangin(she's like about 1.5 yr old- or so- sweet - we made a sandbox in front of house in an old baby pool - some water in a big bowl- lots of sand my neice & i humped down from beach- so sat around making a big ole mess - yay, baby's sure know how to enjoy themselves
beach was nice and cool - hot as blazes (90s) back at home- eek. water was unusually warm so i even got in a few times - a miracle. just lovely- the beach where my mom's house is is private and very not-crowded. they got the property baack in 1952 when there were no people at all hardly- our road was all wooded all arund- of course now it's full of giant mansions- but we're just a little cottage - the beach is nice and sand white & soft- usually empty in mornings and evenings (my fav.times) shells to pick - idk- it's nicer by far than florida. (tho, mind you, florida has that water so warm it's like a bath.
gotta go make a few callse before it's five - forgot totally about tax coupoins= where are they??? as usual
back later.
i'm alive and had a nice time- thanks for wondering guys. i'll get to your threads later hopefully.
heading to fla sat. a.m. h arrives here tomorrow afternoon. major anxiety going on inside me. tons to do, mom, pack, tidy, my bills, her bills done, her checkbook- need to go do a total - find a few buddies to stop in now or then- etc.
so, no time to formulate any meaningful responses- hope you guys are okay- will check in as soon as have a handle on (what??) my brain, life, etc.
thanks for even noticing whether i'm here or not- i miss "chatting" with you both, hope both do okay with respective insane sitchs - me too for that matter -
i'm hoping today there's justice in the universe girls - and i'm hoping also that five years from now we're chilled, happy & looking back at this with (what?) humor????
Oh it's good for you to be busy Nero, but you just have SO much going on right now and so much pressure and responsibility. You take such good care of your mom even though she drives you nuts sometimes, that is so nice!
I hope it works out okay for you in Fl. It WILL work out okay for you! Are you and your H flying back together on Saturday? Tell you what...in five years WE will be the vets, able to give other newcomers advice about how we stood strong for years and how much our Hs adore us now Not even five years. Yup! WE, you, me, Dawn, TVS, Forever, Complicated, Portia, T^2, Raine, Mz.J, Bright, SailingAlone, all of us, will be the NEW reachingHighers. Not one doubt in my mind.
Good luck with your H coming in tomorrow. Keep strong Nero!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
talk about pma - you were the "queen of pma" on the 18th. i hope you're rite. sometimes i can't get up the "juice" to care-
i'm going to have to have a major test of my "as if-ness" this trip. idk how i'll react when he announces trip to ow- ifit weren't so f'ing icky and making me want to just wack him in advance- i'd be curious to see my reaction.
i mean- how the hell long can you dread something- maybe when it finally comes i'll have dreaded it so darn long that it won't even matter (????)(!!) becasue it's sucked the life out of me totally ALREADY?
YA THINK? LIKE THE russia trip- i mean- we stress & stress- the darn anticipation kills us -
oh if only it were soooo easy to turn it off and just not care - huh?
anyway- you and your certainty that our h's will be normal & devoted guys they used to be.
in theory- when i read "the book", etc.- it seems to make sense on a logical - sane level.
but then- i think over real life- insane rewrite of history he's said - what it's been for past 38 yrs - see the little "rough spots" or whatever you want to call them- in a totally new light.
then i think perhaps i've been the jerk with rose colored glasses allll along - and this man is nothing like what i thought.
serioyusly treasonous thoughts on my part. oh well-
i'm a bit tired and not-oriented to here. it's wierd to walk around the place i lived longer than anywhere else- haven't been in 3.5 months- and wonder what the heck i do here? i do not feel very inspired to be his housemaid & clean it up-
the yard is awful- he's totally let it become overgrown & kinda icky- allll his work creating the paths ... i wonder why he doesn't bother??
i wonder abut everything. sometimes i think he's truly just a fragile human being working out something big. sometimes i think he's a selfish ratty little boy - or a selfish pig of a man- got his money so he deserves IT ALL (ONly him, mind you- not everyone else in universe) - stunted in his youth (maybe when his mom left - but then- how do you reconcile his pain with his ability to do the same thing to someone else? knowing full well how bad it felt and what a stinking raw deal it all was? he always says worst part was that he didn't see it coming - not a clue!!! duhhhhh.....
one has to wonder. i'm no psychiatrist. at some point in life- i think- we take the lumps for our actions. sane or not- just or not- bottom line seems to be we're adults making choices.
me- i screwed up getting place up north and believing him when he said it was okay and we were okay. BLAM - i was foolish as hell. he is foolish as hell to be doing what he is- idk - oh well huh???
hoppe you are good -y our thread is a huuuuuge & busy place. i hope you are doing okay and not dreading tooooo much (which i know you are- but hey- i can wish you weren't rite???) the trip-
your sitch is soooo wierd and awful- like you- i absolutely hate my h being alllllll non-touching and icky about me. his indifference makes me want to kill him most of the time- if it weren't such a icky thing that is totally out of my own realm of possibilities - but i feel good sayign something sooo awful- (you kn ow- rotten talk - it fortifies me sometimes with it's wacky exotic big fat bag of air-ness)
okay- this particular hot air balloon is going to go do something to feel "at home" a bit (if possible).
xxoo glad you're there- we'll get thru it - of that i am sure- hwo the heck and what the heck - idk & idc
hope all is well with you- going over to your thread in a minute.
our shore is as far from that stupid tv show as one could imagine. not to metion half those people weren't even from nj
compared to fla - normal REAL nj folks have alot of very traditional, nice homey-family-old time values. at least the people i know & grew up with. my 3 girlfriends are normal looking people with husbands & kids for past 30+ years.
the shore is nice- when we were kids it was totally all wooded from bay to ocean (a walk of a few minutes - maybe about six houses from main street down to bay (small cove w/beach that looked across at the mainland) and then maybe another five or six other way up to beach. private beach so no parking for public. soo beach always small crowd and privatish & pretty really. houses on dunes- little stick-ie fences to hold sand, etc.
it used to be very humble- now most houses are big giant things- pretty but our lot is about "it" for way it was. humble cottage - bunk beds - land around it has pine trees & brushy sandy floor- some birds & bunnies - it's cute & nice "hatitat" - well, modified. when kids it was all wooded all around us-
i still find it hard to make the jump to now and then.
oh well- sand is lovely and glowing white (compared to fla- broken shells ( guess and tan sand) - and soft as can be. a jetty here or there down the way - baby was afraid to walk on it- couldn't figure out what the heck it was- she & i went up and after playign around awhile i manged to get her walking on sand AND going in water a bit (also afraid) - she's a great little kid. soooo cute . bad bad diaper rash- poor little thing.
anyuway- alot of sand castles & little "baby pools" later- ta da -lvoes the beachlike every kid alive huh??
it was fun. kind of makes a person remember simple pleasures - hanging out with very young kids - who in fact only need simple pleasures. shame my h is soooo jaded & on the wrong trail. IF ONLY (YEAH right -if only) he'd ever be able to just stop- enjoy what is around him - who is around him - and quit - well, i don't know what he's looking for or doing. life used to be soooo happy & quiet and just fine that way. now- idk at all -
i have not too much patience with people who can't be happy with some simple pleasures. i mean- what really does ANYONE HAVE THAT'S SOOOO GREAT????/ ALOT OF "STUFF" - rite.
if you can't enjoy some quiet times & nice company & havin a roof over your head & a few $$ in the bank "just in case" -
well, wtf does one expect to be producing all kinds of excitement & true happiness????? ya gotta wonder???
