uR I'm sorry, what you said did not make me feel bad.
Oh good, would never, ever want to make you feel badly, Linda.
When a person feels awful and unloveable.
I do not like to see that you feel that way, my friend. You are so lovable. And you were loved well for a great many years. It is your h who feels awful about himself.
It is inconceivable to me, if I fell in love with someone else, who desperately wanted to marry me, I would leave and make it happen. He stays, he must care about me. But then I think maybe he's just biding his time, living here "like friends" with me supporting us until he feels well enough to get a full time job making enough money so he can get RT a green card and and bring her here. But that hasn't happened in the past 6 years, why worry about it now. It is what it is.
Linda, if you really and truly love someone, there is nothing that would stand in the way. He would do whatever he had to make a committment to her. And yes, it hasnt happened in 6 years. You are right, it is what it is. And trying to figure it out doesnt get you anywhere. You are choosing to stand today, that's really all that is important at this moment.
Maybe that is part of my H's rewriting, when he tells everyone I have been lying and cheating on him our whole marriage. Sort of a projection of his actions now, but worse, to rationalize them to himself?
Exactly.^^^^
Linda, every step of this journey is important. All the ups and downs and twists and turns. The two steps forward and one back - all of it. They are all needed to get you to where you ultimately will wind up - stronger, wiser, healthy. You dont want to miss any of the steps.
Nero your posts always cheer me up. I would love to come meet you. I'm out in Suffolk. Not impossible I think.
Can I come? I'll drive and pick up Nero! Just say the word.
We WILL be happy again. Soon. Happy with our lives and ourselves, no longer "sad sacks" but independent women leading fulfilling lives.
Yes you will. I have no doubt.
When our Hs finally smarten up and decide to recommit to us, that -happiness will just be icing on the delicious cake of our lives. We will have ""that" kinda happy-cherished, the object of someone's desire/life" -- again! I know it!
The great thing about that is, when it happens, you get to decide .
