Went for a drink first. I could feel my confidence shrivelling as we got out of the car. I gave myself a little internal pep talk and put a front on and carried on. Worked like a charm! Went for a drink 1st. We chatted briefly about me not having the kids for the 1st time in 12 months. I told him it was hard because it's been on my mind a little bit that because I'm not seeing them I have thought about them more. He said it was good that I'm doing things rather than sitting at home watching movies and playing video games. I told him about how I was feeling lately. 7 years ago before I met W, I put a lot of pressure on myself to find someone and settle down, get married, have kids. It filled my head 24/7. Now whether I work it out with W or not. In a way the pressure is off. I am/have been married and I have two beautiful kids. Right now I can just live my life and have some fun along the way. The looming D looks like it's on the horizon but I feel like I will handle it if and when it happens.
As much as I hate not seeing my babies and I will have to see them slightly less in the future to have a life myself. I think this is a major reason for me resenting my W right now. See my kids or have a life. I'm not much of a father if I don't see my kids and I'm not much of a father/person if I have no life.
We saw some live comedy. Some of it was amazing some of it was OK. My sitch got in my head a few times. never does at the cinema but it did here. I was sat there thinking 'here I am GALing and my sitch is all over me'. Managed to shake it off.
We went to a bar afterwards. It was busy downstairs so we went upstairs. At the bar was an attractive women. Thought I recognized her. Normally I would have just stayed clear, because I thought that, I asked her if her name was 'her name' and she said yes, she asked me my name and I told her and she beamed a massive smile. She said "I remember you, you took me out for a ride in your car and you asked me out (this was about 15 years ago). I said "Did I?" (I did remember but I was having a bit of fun) she was disappointed I didn't remember. I asked how she was and she asked how I was. She asked us if we wanted to sit with them. I asked who she was here with and she was with her boyfriend, my ex girlfriend from when I was 18 and her boyfriend. I said yeah sure. It was nice catching up with my ex (first girlfriend). We had such a good laugh with them, I think it completely made the night. We ended going home at 01:00 after a Bacon cheeseburger. Brilliant night!
I acted confident and therefore I was. It made such a difference to all of it.
Woke up at 10:00 am. Felt great!
Had coffee, set up S3's new tablet and went to see Pacific Rim at the cinema. Really good movie!
Went to the gym afterwards.
Right now I'm finishing up this post then I'm going for a run, then maybe wash car and cut the grass.
Quiet one tonight with a pizza and chilling out.
Nothing planned tomorrow day yet. I have been invited to go to the cinema again with my nieces in the afternoon (lot of time at the cinema lately) and a garden party in the evening.
My sitch can get me down but if I smile and and carry on it fades away.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
