One giant leap forward!

[T1000]

I haven't responded to her email and I don't plan on responding. I read the email and parts seem like game playing, because I don't want to play games I'm dropping the ball.

[T1000]

T, I'd like you to think about this response when I asked why you wanted to stay married to your W. Not just stay married (we all get that) but stay married tothe woman you married.

I don't want my marriage to fail. I want my kids to not have come from a broken home.
We have been happy before and know we could be happy again.
Unfortunately that would take a lot of work on her side.

If there is no respect, no empathy; there is resentment and lots of blaming.

So what do you really feel for your W?

I don't know.

Frustration.

What are you getting at?

[T1000]

Went out with my brother last night.

Went for a drink first. I could feel my confidence shrivelling as we got out of the car. I gave myself a little internal pep talk and put a front on and carried on. Worked like a charm!
Went for a drink 1st. We chatted briefly about me not having the kids for the 1st time in 12 months.
I told him it was hard because it's been on my mind a little bit that because I'm not seeing them I have thought about them more.
He said it was good that I'm doing things rather than sitting at home watching movies and playing video games.
I told him about how I was feeling lately. 7 years ago before I met W, I put a lot of pressure on myself to find someone and settle down, get married, have kids. It filled my head 24/7.
Now whether I work it out with W or not. In a way the pressure is off. I am/have been married and I have two beautiful kids. Right now I can just live my life and have some fun along the way.
The looming D looks like it's on the horizon but I feel like I will handle it if and when it happens.

As much as I hate not seeing my babies and I will have to see them slightly less in the future to have a life myself.
I think this is a major reason for me resenting my W right now.
See my kids or have a life. I'm not much of a father if I don't see my kids and I'm not much of a father/person if I have no life.

We saw some live comedy. Some of it was amazing some of it was OK. My sitch got in my head a few times. never does at the cinema but it did here. I was sat there thinking 'here I am GALing and my sitch is all over me'. Managed to shake it off.

We went to a bar afterwards. It was busy downstairs so we went upstairs. At the bar was an attractive women. Thought I recognized her. Normally I would have just stayed clear, because I thought that, I asked her if her name was 'her name' and she said yes, she asked me my name and I told her and she beamed a massive smile. She said "I remember you, you took me out for a ride in your car and you asked me out (this was about 15 years ago). I said "Did I?" (I did remember but I was having a bit of fun) she was disappointed I didn't remember. I asked how she was and she asked how I was. She asked us if we wanted to sit with them. I asked who she was here with and she was with her boyfriend, my ex girlfriend from when I was 18 and her boyfriend.
I said yeah sure.
It was nice catching up with my ex (first girlfriend).
We had such a good laugh with them, I think it completely made the night. We ended going home at 01:00 after a Bacon cheeseburger.
Brilliant night!

I acted confident and therefore I was. It made such a difference to all of it.

Woke up at 10:00 am. Felt great!

Had coffee, set up S3's new tablet and went to see Pacific Rim at the cinema. Really good movie!

Went to the gym afterwards.

Right now I'm finishing up this post then I'm going for a run, then maybe wash car and cut the grass.

Quiet one tonight with a pizza and chilling out.

Nothing planned tomorrow day yet. I have been invited to go to the cinema again with my nieces in the afternoon (lot of time at the cinema lately) and a garden party in the evening.

My sitch can get me down but if I smile and and carry on it fades away.

[labug]

[quote=T)What are you getting at? [/quote]

So what do you really feel for your W?

That's all.

[labug]

What are you getting at?

So what do you really feel for your W?

That's all.

[T1000]

I don't know how to answer.

Like any loved one when they pi55 me off I don't like them. When they are nice to me I do.
Right now she is ripping our family apart.

[sandi2]

Glad to hear you finally got out and had a good time. I think sometimes a person has to act confident even though they aren't feeling it right then. You needed to see how others respond to you, and apparently, it was all good.

[T1000]

My sitch is all over me today.
Can't stop thinking about it and it's getting me down.
It's first time I have cried about my sitch in a long time.
I'm missing the kids so much I f**king hate this!

I have noticed that the less GAL there is the more it gets on my mind. The 1st weekend to myself and it ran out of steam GAL wise today. Guess I need to get some more friends.

Went to the cinema with my older brother and his daughters this afternoon. It was nice to see them but I just thought about my kids.

Going to that party in 30 minutes hopefully that will help.

[Mimi00]

I hope you have a good time at the party.

Sorry you've been feeling down.
I believe it's okay to cry and think about things for a little bit, as long as you get back up and continue to push through.

[T1000]

Thanks Mimi,

I agree it's good to feel somethings for a while before moving on.

Party wasn't up to much but at least I went.