Need help applying DR (super long newcomer story)

[SM34]

MrBond is very knowledgable, and one of the best resources here for self examination, and learning to be compassionate. Listen to him, he is trying to help you.

Tallula is a great resource also, and belped me greatly to develop and expand on my 'faults' as a man.

One comment though for Tallula. You were not leaving your husband, he was leaving you! So the fact that he was not helping much with your chores was not enough reason for you to leave. So he must have been attractivr to you enough to overlook that, therefore supporting my argument that doing dishes and laundry will not bring your wife back, because the problems are much more fundamental than that.

I would also like to add that you are looking at the chores through the eyes if someone who was pregnant through their sitch, and husbands with a,pregnant wife or with small children (or both) DEFINITELY should be helpng out! That is VERY attractive!

Michelle says to make yourself more attractive to the WAS, and be a spouse only a fool would leave.

Sandis rules say to be as attractive as possible, in appearance and in other ways.

So its not counter to DBing to work on your attractiveness. And for husbands that is by exhibiting man traits! Being strong, standing tall in the face of adversities, handling stress without whining, etc..