"So what? Why are you predicting and controlling his response?" Because it doesn't seem like there would be much value in talking to someone that's not listening, especially on something as sensitive as baring my soul like that.
"What can he do?" He can stop bringing up the gardening. I've asked him to stop bringing it up, but he still does. It's a wound that hasn't been left alone long enough for it to heal.
"Sure, nothing wrong with acknowledging that you don't like to garden with him. I guess that could have been the end of the discussion, but why would you want to shut that down rather than exploring it further if he wanted to?" Because there's nothing to explore. We've discussed it a thousand times before. I don't want to, I've explained to him why, I've asked him to stop bringing it up and (like the paragraph above) gone into deep personal explanation of why it hurts when he brings it up. Does the wound really need to be opened and dissected every time he brings it up again? Is there some value to it that I'm missing?
Humble. I'm going to have to do some reading on that because I can't imagine being more humble. Maybe I'm confusing depression and self-doubt and fear and confusion and a bunch of other things, but I'm virtually dysfunctional right now because I'm afraid of doing something else wrong. I was just looking up Asperger's and social filters because some of the feedback I get leads me to believe I'm not fit for social interaction. Even my questioning my own logic is interpreted as "misdirection tactics."
I'm missing something. Or everything. I'm beginning to feel like I should just have myself committed and be done with it. I'm starting to cry right now and my son is here and I don't want him to see it, so I'm going to signoff, for a while. I thank you for your attempts. I know you mean well. It's me, I accept that, I just can't seem to grasp what to do to fix it.
