Yup. The games are definitely avoidance. A way to shut the brain off.
RT, this may be a good time to call a DB coach. Well, there's never a bad time, but it can be tough to afford. Those folks have seen it all and have really good perspective as well as some tricks to get our LBS heads screwed on better.
I thought of that because I remember my coach describing the process of healing an R and reciprocity was definitely something that happened further down the line. Your W is really messed up right now. She can't do any healthy R because she can't even get herself together. That has to be her first step. Her focus really does need to be inward in order for her to do the work she needs to do.
Take care of yourself. Focus on the work that you need to do. And remember that detachment is the secret to healthy, happy, successful Rs.
