What the...?

[lovethehub]

KD,

I have given this a lot of thought, here is what is different:

I am developing deeper friendships with people whose lives do not revolve around drinking. Working at the bar, most of my friends were people who hang out at bars most weekends. I don't really see them anymore, partly because they all hang out where I used to work and I can't go there but also because other than working there, I really only like to go to bars occasionally. H thinks I want to go every weekend, I know he likes my new friendships!

I have started working out again which, along with eating better, helps me to feel more focused and I am able to accomplish things again. Before I would be busy every second of the day and have no idea what I did all day when I felt into bed, exhausted, at midnight. It also leaves me happier, I interact better and have more patience with our children.

I include H in decision making more often. A lot of times it really isn't necessary but since he isn't around as much it makes him feel more involved with the kids and what goes on with them.

I keep my mouth shut when H is doing something that isn't the way I would do it. Cuz my way is right, right??!! It's always little things but I realized I would frequently say things like "that's not the pan I use for bacon", "why are we going this way?" etc.. I never thought about it how it made him feel and that I was constantly suggesting he was doing something wrong.

I don't bring up every little thing that bugs me, or even every. Usually, after a day or two of contemplating whatever it is, it doesn't even matter anymore.

I am speaking his LL's on a daily basis.

I am getting better at saying no so I don't take on too many things.

The things I did before that I still do:

Buy little things at the store to show H I was thinking of him

My own "meals on wheels program" for the older, widowed people on our street

Taking the kids fun places and arranging to have friends over to keep them busy and not just playing video games

Having certain shows that H and I watch together, even if we have to wait a few days. They are little at home "dates"

Take good care of myself, the kids, h and our home