Blindsided

[chl0901]

Thanks, Demoted, Hwy, & Brian!

I am currently reading DB, and have not read the Love Languages book but will definitely order it!

I was a little disappointed after getting on the scale the other day but it was really nice to try on the blouse I'm wearing this AM thinking it wouldn't fit/look good and being pleasantly surprised that it did! It's difficult sometimes to not get the "instant results/gratification" when you're working so hard at something, but I need to keep focused on the overall picture and my hard work will pay off over time (I just can't wait!).

It is definitely tempting to look at the phone bill online, because I can see the phone number (I know what OW's is)but do not know what the texts say, which drives me crazy! I looked at the phone bill online on the day of the BD, and did not see her number (that's who I was looking for when he gave me the BD). That made me feel better at the time, but then I checked again a week later and it was about 3 days after the BD H and OW started texting back and forth a lot daily (incl. some phone calls thrown in there). I just felt awful after seeing that and do admit I tried to look at his text messages that night but he had deleted them all to/from OW. Which of course made me feel awful and my mind run wild assuming all kinds of things. From the advice on here, I have not snooped at the phone bill or his phone since, but it still is tempting. I know they are having an EA (I also suspect they did years ago - OW has always been a sore spot for me but I tried to not act jealous or rude because they have been friends since before H and I met), and my heart is telling me it is also probably a PA, but I have no proof and my brain is still hoping and wishing it is not physical. Either way, I know I cannot control their actions and just need to keep working on improving myself.

Some of my GALs so far:
- Working out alone and also with friends
- Meeting friends for lunch more often
- Participating in more things like local 5ks (even with my slow times!)

Some of my 180s so far:
- Stop nagging (or as I like to say "reminding")
- Show more interest in his interests and hobbies
- Stop playing on my phone (FB, games, Pinterest, etc.) at night in bed when we are watching TV (it annoys him)
- Work on improving my appearance (since H said he is no longer physically attracted to me during BD)
- Do not initiate TM or phone calls except for business

If anyone has any thoughts on those, please let me know! I am open to suggestions or improvements on my list. Thanks!