Why do you accept so many lame excuses for not gal-ing with new people, when that is the remedy for the rut you complain about being stuck in?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Is it really that simple? All I know is, I have to save myself. My marriage is second place now. I am beginning to slip into such a state of depression. I feel absolutely broken. I can hardly even put my shoes on and walk out the door today....so much sadness
SP - Forgive me if I have asked this, but are you seeing a therapist?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Yes, it really is that simple. You get among some new people who don't know, don't care, don't talk to you about your marital problems, and you learn to smile and have a good time with them and get outside of yourself. And get out of your comfort zone. If it weren't important, DB'ers wouldn't be telling every single WAS, a thousand times a day, to do it. It's frustrating when they say but it's hard and then, I can't stop thinking about my WAS. It really helps, and that is why it is so much pushed around here.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. It is such hard to move forward. Are you working with a counselor or a coach, the right person can help you. There are a couple of our coaches that also deal with depression and the issues that go with it. Of course, seeing a M.D. might be good also, you want to be as healthy as you can so that you can go forward. Please keep at it...time does help, as well as support from friends, family and even strangers here on the board. Take good care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Thank you all for your support. Yes, I am sad and yes it will pass. Thank you, La. That thought is what I am using to keep me grounded.
I am not seeing a therapist, but perhaps I should give more consideration to doing so. I am really struggling with this now. I have backslid something terrible over the last few days. It literally feels like my life is crumbling around me. I have been thinking about asking W to move off our property, so she isn't in my direct line of sight. Unfortunately, she can't afford a place of her own, and I can't even afford the pay for the things I have on the table now. So, I have been thinking about ways around it. It all boils down to me selling off my belongings and drastically changing my life. Even the thought of that puts me in a deeper state of depression. Meanwhile, wife is going on vacation AGAIN, next weekend with OM. It just feels like my life is shattering, while she is living the life she wanted, at the expense of me and daughter who had no say in this situation. I know I need to change my perspective, but that is all I have at the moment to focus on.
I weened myself off of my AD several months ago. I felt solid enough that I wasn't needing them anymore. I might have to consider getting back on the perscription.
I AM going to branch out and do new things. I have to. I have to save myself. I know in my mind that GAL is going to be the key to my survival. It's just hard. I have tried to find solid people to connect with. They are either so broken themselves, or not really looking for new friends. Building a new circle is pretty tough. There just doesn't seem to be that much out there, that fit in with my interests and values. I am pretty much a married man at heart. I have strong family values and it seems that people in the singles world are "NOT", for a lack of a better explanation.
I will just try to carry on, look for a new life for myself. I am sure I will be here often looking for emotional support. The divorce process hasn't even started, but I am already not sure I will be able to cope with it.....[censored]!
Might be a really good idea to find a therapist if you can and look at getting back on AD, they really can help take the edge off so you can get back on your feet.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
