I try to show him love and appreciation with little things, such as a text here and there, making him coffee in the AMs, steaming his clothes for work sometimes, and every once in awhile getting him a card and writing a nice note to him. I've always tried to do little things like that our whole relationship though. Since the BD, I've laid off of the texts and cards, but still make him coffee in the AM and steam his work clothes every couple of days. I'm not sure what else I should do at this point to show him he's appreciated and I am happy with him without coming off as pursuing or pressuring him. I am worried that backing off like I have been will just drive a bigger space in-between us. I get that if I come on too strong (like I tried a couple of weeks ago), that will push him away, but I'm also scared that me backing off so much will also push him away further. Any happy medium or ideas?
Sounds like you are already at a happy medium and doing just the right amount. You are right, you do not want to pressure or push him away farther. That is where I am at right now, as well. Trying to do little things here and there, but not too much as to overwhelm him. It is so hard, as you said, because you don't want to lose the connection, but you also don't want to pursue too much! Try some little new things, and see how he responds. If he responds positively or appreciates what you are doing, keep doing it!
Demoted is on to something, do you know what your H's Love Language is ? Have you read the Love Language book? It is great. My H's love language is acts of service, so I have been doing little things to make life easier, little acts of service here and there.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
