One month down, zero casualties

[Raine]

Quick sitch update and then I got a lot to catch up on here and on other threads. Love you guys!

Last night went to dinner with my parents, kids, and H. He came right from work. After saying hi to my parents, he starts going a mile a minute telling me about everything in his day. It's like no one was there but him and I. He was supposed to go to a team lunch, but he said he needed to get away. He went and had lunch by himself. Very interesting to me. I can't believe he dogged a team lunch at an expensive place, where he is the manager, with people from out of town. Even more is he told me, and told me why. He was so overloaded in his mind.

After dinner he crashed in his room to play phone games. I played dance games on the xbox and played with the kids. Then I put them all to bed. He came up about 20 minutes after that and said sorry he never heard me go back upstairs and to tell me goodnight. So knowing he is spirally down from signs I saw I few days ago and it's only getting worse, I texted him and asked if he wanted to listen to a podcast. He says that he has taken a sleeping pill and I might take advantage of him. (I was super shocked by this response. Way flirtatious and not normal.) I just said, "Huh, me?" and he said he would get a new one downloaded. I went down there and right when I came in, he put on one of our songs from our wedding. One of the songs from when we were dating: The Perfect Year, and wanted to know if I remembered the singer. He turned it off after 30 seconds.

He put on the podcast and I rubbed his back. He didn't move away, and that's as far as anything went. I just went back to my room when it was done.

No OW visitations of any kind in several weeks. He has a trip coming up next week where he will likely see one of them. Texting kind of communication yeah, but not seeing them, even though he is getting lots of pressure to.

Then two nights ago he had a group of his new friends over. He continues to have things at our house instead of him going out. He does and then makes future plans for them to come back. The ages of people were 18-35 and I felt like I was back in HS/Early college. The 35 yr old is a very young 35, never married guy who H met and became close to back at S. He says H is his best friend. I think he is a good guy and actually keeps H in line in many ways.

The last person did not leave until nearly 2 am, on a week night! I didn't say a word the entire time about it being late or anything, but I didn't go to bed either. Baby was awake, so not a big deal, but also I thought it was good for H to be responsible for him and for me in this. H told them at 12:30 he was taking out the trash and then going to bed. I think he did really good, but just speaks more to the immaturity of his friends.

During the night he was pretty attentive to me, wondering what I thought of a game, and if I liked it a lot he was going to get it, but only if I did. He kicked my foot under the table at one point and put his hand on my arm to say sorry. I felt this electric, oh my gosh he touched me. And then I laughed at myself inside that something like that was all it took. Maybe I'm back in HS too?