GM tough one on birthday wishes. I didn't for several years, and then started acknowledging xh's bday. He was actually pleased, and thanked me. Though not necessarily at the time
There appears to be some sort of disconnect, for many of them, about how they treat others and how they expect to be treated.
So unless your gut is saying NO loudly, I would send a brief and innocuous bday message. No 'Love from stuff' Just greetings from.
You may well have a long spell of little contact while he sorts himself out and works through his crisis, coming to realise that the divorce didn't make him happy either.
Time for these people flows at the speed of cold treacle.
Oh yes, and on depression mdes and PTSD. I resisted ADs then took them for about 3 months, which got me through a rough patch. My doctor gave me mild ones that are nonaddictive, and said i would know when to stop, but if I still needed them after a certain period to go back to her.
But finding joy is also part of the healing process, and not simply down to ADs, although for many they do help.
