Today is his birthday. He actually called around 9am, upset that I hadn't wished him a happy birthday yet. I felt a little guilty...but come on, he's moved out of the house, filed for a divorce and spending his birthday with his friends, not me. I'm sorry but I didn't really think he WANTED to hear happy birthday from me. I got a little sad and told him I'm just stumbling through this, not sure what's appropriate. It's my first separation, ya know?! I expressed sadness about holidays and birthdays alone and that's when he told me he's still hopeful we can fix this...so at least he's still saying that, even if it does feel like lip service. Maybe I won't be forever alone on holidays.
We met for lunch (it was a kid swap, really) and it was pleasant enough...I did most of the chatting, as always. He just seems so...distant. I try not to take it personally. His brother has said the same thing about him recently.
He actually called me later in the day, after work, to chat. So, that's a tiny bit of progress. If I really look at the big picture and remind myself it's a marathon...we are making tiny positive improvements. When he first moved out I didn't hear from him for weeks, there were no I love yous and absolutely no talk of "I hope we can fix this". He was just DONE. So now he calls just about daily and does at least say he wants to fix it.
I got a little sad and told him I'm just stumbling through this, not sure what's appropriate. It's my first separation, ya know?! I expressed sadness about holidays and birthdays alone and that's when he told me he's still hopeful we can fix this...so at least he's still saying that, even if it does feel like lip service. Maybe I won't be forever alone on holidays. 
